Makes me think of my getting comfortable with my instrument in voice lessons. That took a few years and a series of teachers who all offered different things. My latest teacher is the best, blending challenge with encouragement in just the right mix.
It may well be the key to every endeavor. Now if we could just figure out an easy way to transition to 'getting comfortable'. It's not as easy as it sounds!
Is there an easy way? We need the right feedback and right experiences at the right time to make that kind of progress. I've had something like four years on and off of voice lessons. It took me over a year just to find my "foundation."
I think one key is knowing your genre or genres really well. The more we read, the more we become part of that chorus, as a writer friend of mine put it.
Ramona, I love your personal writing and have really enjoyed you winter pieces. I’m so glad you’ve stayed in your cabin an your writing takes me there with you
Yes! This is why I write so damn much about myself: I need to be comfortable with ME, with who I am. I also need to understand who I am better, but that's a tangent to this.
And: I used to watch Northern Exposure! This was probably during the early 90s. Loved the weirdness.
Ramona - absolutely! I love your notion of “us” on a journey, one unique to the writer but in conversation with the reader. That’s what good personal essay writing should be. I’m tempted to say some of the comfort with self comes with age, but it’s also about comfort with the writing process, which is messy and fiery and (often) dull as dirt or a challenge to be as honest as possible.
On the flip side, most readers are drawn to writers who don’t ask them to fix the mess or to be the equivalent of therapists or train-wreck watchers. Wherever the journey goes, even to dark places, it needs to be with a safe guide - like you. I feel very comfortable when I’m on your writing journeys :-)
Thank you, Martha. I'm intrigued by your 'flip side'. I know a writer at another venue who writes essays full of anger and disappointment, mainly at her own inability to make it as a writer when others around her seem to have no trouble. She's had a fulfilling career at times but now she only publishes screeds. And the fewer the readers, the angrier she gets.
She has talent. That's the really sad part. Writing is her whole life and she's spending it now just lashing out, hoping for some assurance that she's right and everyone else is wrong.
I wish I could help her see, but I've had to shut her off. I don't know how to help her.
Added: almost forgot my point: So I guess in a sense she's 'comfortable' with her own writing. It's the rest of us who are feeling the discomfort.
Yes, true, when things flow it means they're coming from a source within that is "true", unselfconscious actually which seems to contradict what you say but is no contradiction at all. I find that writing a blog every 2 weeks that isn't fiction helps me with writing the fiction, because it's natural and unforced. Using my personal voice helps me find the voice of my fictional characters. Thank you, Ramona.
To say it simply: writing the blog loosens me up. It's like a great stretching exercise. I keep the tone conversational and even if I'm grammatically correct (always!), I don't put a lot of effort in tone or style. It's very close to my "speaking" voice - if I had time to fine-tune my conversations :) . I try to do that with the fictional characters - "just say it like it comes" with the same loose attitude. It's so easy to feel constrained when there's a plot to put down on paper.
GUILTY! I have started to read and enjoy those brilliant ‘other writers’ and then take a deep breath and write as myself. Because at the end of the day I’m terrible at imitations. And I am who I am and that’s it.
Glad to have your return and to hear you are mending. Being an octogenarian living alone is a bit challenging at times, but I wouldn’t trade with anyone I know of, with the possible exception of E. Jean!! How wonderful to know that an 80 year old woman’s reputation has been deemed worthy of $83 million by a jury of peers !!!
Singing along with you, Ramona. You've identified the irresistible-ness of the best writing. It's not about the chops (necessary but in no way sufficient), not even about the voice. It's about knowing what you know and sharing the gift with authority, aka comfort. A multitude of writers, well published and not, are doing this every day on Substack, proving how many ways there are to tell a story as yourself. When I'm jealous of someone else's writing, I try to see this writer's work as a flag raised high for others--the you-ness of you, the me-ness of me and so on. I tend to find older writers more interesting, perhaps because I'm over 70 myself but also because they have a deeper site to excavate. Of course there are exceptions, but I'm with M.F.K. Fisher, who said, "The purpose of living is to get old enough to have something to say."
Yes, celebrating each other from our own corners is pretty darned satisfying. Rona, you are one of those who make your lovely paths interesting to follow. Thank you!
I've been grappling with a post all week, and I really needed to read this today. Thank you for reminding me of something I know but can easily forget when I'm reading as many different writers as I have been lately on this platform.
This is great Romona. It really had me thinking about how I approached my newsletter when I hit publish on that first issue. I had tried to do my homework, by reading several other newsletters beforehand to try to get a feel for where readers were trending on Substack. In retrospect this was probably the worst thing I could have done, because I found myself catering to a certain audience, attempting to be a professional "Substacker" instead of just letting it all hang out and writing who I am.
Now I'm correcting course, writing more in my own voice, warts and all. And it's such a liberating experience. If that means that my readers have to deal with some obscure film reference or stupid joke from time to time, so be it. I definitely don't mind embracing the role of resident clown around here.
Great, Dan! I'm glad you've found your own voice. I think at first we've all gone looking for the popular ones to emulate, and that's not a bad thing. We need role models. But then we have to find ourselves in order to grow.
It seems like the hard part but it's really the fun part. As you're now discovering!
I feel like sometimes what I’m waiting for is to read something I’ve written and get the same feeling I get when I read something really good that someone else has written. And I don’t think that’s possible—it’s like trying to tickle yourself.
Pretty much every piece of writing I’ve done includes a period of mourning for how good it could have been. That’s probably not a great practice!
I'm afraid that's part of the process--that dissatisfaction with everything we write. It's what spurs us on to do better, if that's any consolation. Think what it would be like if we adored everything we wrote. Everything we wrote would look the same!
No, you're doing it right. There will come that magic moment when you'll look back on something you've written and you'll marvel at the fact that it came from you. It'll keep you going for days!
First of all, I’m glad you’re on the mend now! Last week I bought tissues for the first time in oh, I don’t know, 10 years? 😅 (I’ve been a toilet paper kinda gal…)
Also, another wonderful post! Thank you for it.
Substack has been a good place for me to explore more of my voice, storytelling, and various interests. It feels so… me. I’ve written online in other spaces before but never felt that permission to be myself. Something shifted in me before joining, and I’m grateful for it. My audience is very small, and sometimes I’m concerned my work is too random, but I’m mostly just having fun and grateful anyone would take the time to read/engage. 🥲
Makes me think of my getting comfortable with my instrument in voice lessons. That took a few years and a series of teachers who all offered different things. My latest teacher is the best, blending challenge with encouragement in just the right mix.
It may well be the key to every endeavor. Now if we could just figure out an easy way to transition to 'getting comfortable'. It's not as easy as it sounds!
Is there an easy way? We need the right feedback and right experiences at the right time to make that kind of progress. I've had something like four years on and off of voice lessons. It took me over a year just to find my "foundation."
No, there are no easy ways. That's what makes the challenge worthwhile.
And of course it takes time. But I lean toward advising all writers to work at 'getting comfortable' as part of their tool kit.
I think one key is knowing your genre or genres really well. The more we read, the more we become part of that chorus, as a writer friend of mine put it.
Yes, exactly.
Ramona, I love your personal writing and have really enjoyed you winter pieces. I’m so glad you’ve stayed in your cabin an your writing takes me there with you
Thank you, Susan. I like where this cabin living is taking my writing. Let the winds howl!
Sending get well energy
Thanks! Got it!
Yes! This is why I write so damn much about myself: I need to be comfortable with ME, with who I am. I also need to understand who I am better, but that's a tangent to this.
And: I used to watch Northern Exposure! This was probably during the early 90s. Loved the weirdness.
I think you've got it!
Me me me! It's all about me.
Me.
Well, of course it is! You're doing all the work, aren't you? 😏
"Work" :)
Ramona - absolutely! I love your notion of “us” on a journey, one unique to the writer but in conversation with the reader. That’s what good personal essay writing should be. I’m tempted to say some of the comfort with self comes with age, but it’s also about comfort with the writing process, which is messy and fiery and (often) dull as dirt or a challenge to be as honest as possible.
On the flip side, most readers are drawn to writers who don’t ask them to fix the mess or to be the equivalent of therapists or train-wreck watchers. Wherever the journey goes, even to dark places, it needs to be with a safe guide - like you. I feel very comfortable when I’m on your writing journeys :-)
Thank you, Martha. I'm intrigued by your 'flip side'. I know a writer at another venue who writes essays full of anger and disappointment, mainly at her own inability to make it as a writer when others around her seem to have no trouble. She's had a fulfilling career at times but now she only publishes screeds. And the fewer the readers, the angrier she gets.
She has talent. That's the really sad part. Writing is her whole life and she's spending it now just lashing out, hoping for some assurance that she's right and everyone else is wrong.
I wish I could help her see, but I've had to shut her off. I don't know how to help her.
Added: almost forgot my point: So I guess in a sense she's 'comfortable' with her own writing. It's the rest of us who are feeling the discomfort.
Yes, true, when things flow it means they're coming from a source within that is "true", unselfconscious actually which seems to contradict what you say but is no contradiction at all. I find that writing a blog every 2 weeks that isn't fiction helps me with writing the fiction, because it's natural and unforced. Using my personal voice helps me find the voice of my fictional characters. Thank you, Ramona.
That's interesting, Martine, that writing your personal pieces helps you with your fictional characters. I'd love to hear more about that.
To say it simply: writing the blog loosens me up. It's like a great stretching exercise. I keep the tone conversational and even if I'm grammatically correct (always!), I don't put a lot of effort in tone or style. It's very close to my "speaking" voice - if I had time to fine-tune my conversations :) . I try to do that with the fictional characters - "just say it like it comes" with the same loose attitude. It's so easy to feel constrained when there's a plot to put down on paper.
I go more magical. I call her my muse. Sometimes when I sit down to write, it flows out of my fingers (it probably begins in my 🧠)
It does feel like magic sometimes, doesn't it? Then at other times it still feels like work. But it's all us. That's the cool part.
GUILTY! I have started to read and enjoy those brilliant ‘other writers’ and then take a deep breath and write as myself. Because at the end of the day I’m terrible at imitations. And I am who I am and that’s it.
Well then! Okay!
Glad to have your return and to hear you are mending. Being an octogenarian living alone is a bit challenging at times, but I wouldn’t trade with anyone I know of, with the possible exception of E. Jean!! How wonderful to know that an 80 year old woman’s reputation has been deemed worthy of $83 million by a jury of peers !!!
WooHoo, E. Jean!
Singing along with you, Ramona. You've identified the irresistible-ness of the best writing. It's not about the chops (necessary but in no way sufficient), not even about the voice. It's about knowing what you know and sharing the gift with authority, aka comfort. A multitude of writers, well published and not, are doing this every day on Substack, proving how many ways there are to tell a story as yourself. When I'm jealous of someone else's writing, I try to see this writer's work as a flag raised high for others--the you-ness of you, the me-ness of me and so on. I tend to find older writers more interesting, perhaps because I'm over 70 myself but also because they have a deeper site to excavate. Of course there are exceptions, but I'm with M.F.K. Fisher, who said, "The purpose of living is to get old enough to have something to say."
Yes, celebrating each other from our own corners is pretty darned satisfying. Rona, you are one of those who make your lovely paths interesting to follow. Thank you!
With you and MFK! Haven’t seen her quoted in a good long while… thanks for bringing her back into my orbit, Rona.
“Nobody else could write what we write. It sings our songs.” My favourite line in this most enjoyable piece. Thank You 🙏🏻
Thanks, Susan, and thanks for restacking!
I've been grappling with a post all week, and I really needed to read this today. Thank you for reminding me of something I know but can easily forget when I'm reading as many different writers as I have been lately on this platform.
Oh, you're most welcome. Good luck!
So glad you’re feeling better! ❤️ you being you and me being me and all your readers being themselves. It takes a while. Be well.
LOL. It does, indeed!
Thank you, as always, Christine. 💕👍
This is great Romona. It really had me thinking about how I approached my newsletter when I hit publish on that first issue. I had tried to do my homework, by reading several other newsletters beforehand to try to get a feel for where readers were trending on Substack. In retrospect this was probably the worst thing I could have done, because I found myself catering to a certain audience, attempting to be a professional "Substacker" instead of just letting it all hang out and writing who I am.
Now I'm correcting course, writing more in my own voice, warts and all. And it's such a liberating experience. If that means that my readers have to deal with some obscure film reference or stupid joke from time to time, so be it. I definitely don't mind embracing the role of resident clown around here.
Great, Dan! I'm glad you've found your own voice. I think at first we've all gone looking for the popular ones to emulate, and that's not a bad thing. We need role models. But then we have to find ourselves in order to grow.
It seems like the hard part but it's really the fun part. As you're now discovering!
I feel like sometimes what I’m waiting for is to read something I’ve written and get the same feeling I get when I read something really good that someone else has written. And I don’t think that’s possible—it’s like trying to tickle yourself.
Pretty much every piece of writing I’ve done includes a period of mourning for how good it could have been. That’s probably not a great practice!
I'm afraid that's part of the process--that dissatisfaction with everything we write. It's what spurs us on to do better, if that's any consolation. Think what it would be like if we adored everything we wrote. Everything we wrote would look the same!
No, you're doing it right. There will come that magic moment when you'll look back on something you've written and you'll marvel at the fact that it came from you. It'll keep you going for days!
Wait for it...!!
I love your last paragraph lol. The honesty. Some days I can NEVER figure out how to end an email 😁
That's desperation! 😊
First of all, I’m glad you’re on the mend now! Last week I bought tissues for the first time in oh, I don’t know, 10 years? 😅 (I’ve been a toilet paper kinda gal…)
Also, another wonderful post! Thank you for it.
Substack has been a good place for me to explore more of my voice, storytelling, and various interests. It feels so… me. I’ve written online in other spaces before but never felt that permission to be myself. Something shifted in me before joining, and I’m grateful for it. My audience is very small, and sometimes I’m concerned my work is too random, but I’m mostly just having fun and grateful anyone would take the time to read/engage. 🥲
Substack is kind of amazing, isn't it? I'm glad you're finding your voice here, Erika. Thanks for hanging around with us!