Words That Drag Your Writing Down

Guaranteed. Every time. Don't do it.

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Just saying…

Image by M. Maggs from Pixabay

The beauty of writing to be published is that there are a million different websites and publications ready and eager for your words. (Or so I’ve heard.)

If you write well, they’ll want you.

If you have an area of expertise, they’ll want you.

If you write from the heart, they’ll want you.

If you’re funny, they’ll want you.

If you can write all four in the same piece, they’ll really want you.

But the one thing they’ll want most from you is the ability to write without once resorting to the words or phrases I’m about to list here. (Please note this list is not for academics or business writers. I know nothing about you and what’s required. This list is for you writers who want to draw an audience expecting to feel something from your writing. An audience who wants to get cozy in a chair and pretend you’re sitting across from them, ready to make them laugh or cry or at least keep them from grabbing the TV remote half way through.)

This, of course, is not a complete list. That would be way too long. But it’s a list:

1. Plethora. It means a large or excessive amount of something. Like “lots of”. There isn’t a sentence in the world that wouldn’t be better without the word “plethora”.

2. Whom. It means you couldn’t figure out a way to reword that sentence to avoid the word “whom”.

3. Cognizant. It means having knowledge or being aware of. It means you think you’re a smarty-pants when you use it.

4. Peruse. It can mean “to read carefully” or it can mean “to skim”. It will drive you crazy if you think about it too long. And if you say it out loud it will really crack you up.

5. Utilize. It means “put to use” or “employ” but in almost every instance you can use “use” and say the same thing. Try it. You’ll be amazed. I hope to God.

6. Irregardless, anyways. You know what these two words have in common? They’re not real words. I repeat: They’re. Not. Real. Words.

7. That being said. It means “I really don’t have the conviction it appears I have. I could be totally wrong about this. Okay. Goodbye.”

8. Be that as it may. A watered down version of Number 7. Equally telling.

9. In other words. It means “I’ve been thinking about you and there’s a real possibility you’re an idiot who has to have things explained to you.”

10. If I do say so myself. You freaking pompous ass!

11. I for one. See Number 10.

12. To make a long story short. This one gets complicated. It could mean, “I can’t make this story short but I’m going to pretend it could be way longer to tantalize you because I’m pretty sure I’ve got you in the palm of my hand.” Or it could mean, “There’s a longer version but I’m already bored with you so this is all you get.”

So that’s my list so far. If you want to add any, or if you want to argue about them, feel free. I’m all ears. (Don’t use that one, either.)