I fell in love with the first book I wrote, which I (wisely) no longer share with others. Two or three years out from the start, I began to realize that I had somehow reconstructed some trauma scenario from my youth, transposed it into an era prior to mine and a country in Europe where I have never lived. . . and that by doing this, I had processed a good deal of the trauma, WITHOUT actually remembering ANY of it. (I also gave this new story an ending of love, generativity, and resolution, three things I'm sure were not present in the original version from my life.)
For the first year, while writing this, I would lie in bed at night reciting certain passages in my head. Eventually I reached a point where the need to do this passed, and I could no longer recall those passages by heart. It's the strangest process I have ever been part of. I've never shared this before as I don't know anyone who would be even remotely interested.
Even now I am embarrassed at the memory of having shown this story to anyone (something I naively did because I thought it was so wonderful. . . .yikes!!) I'm comforted by the certainty that those people have forgotten it by now (whew!) Would love to know if anyone has been through anything similar in terms of resolution of unconscious material.
I fell in love with the first book I wrote, which I (wisely) no longer share with others. Two or three years out from the start, I began to realize that I had somehow reconstructed some trauma scenario from my youth, transposed it into an era prior to mine and a country in Europe where I have never lived. . . and that by doing this, I had processed a good deal of the trauma, WITHOUT actually remembering ANY of it. (I also gave this new story an ending of love, generativity, and resolution, three things I'm sure were not present in the original version from my life.)
For the first year, while writing this, I would lie in bed at night reciting certain passages in my head. Eventually I reached a point where the need to do this passed, and I could no longer recall those passages by heart. It's the strangest process I have ever been part of. I've never shared this before as I don't know anyone who would be even remotely interested.
Even now I am embarrassed at the memory of having shown this story to anyone (something I naively did because I thought it was so wonderful. . . .yikes!!) I'm comforted by the certainty that those people have forgotten it by now (whew!) Would love to know if anyone has been through anything similar in terms of resolution of unconscious material.
Well said. I can very well relate to this.