It's discouraging how the hate and fear in this country keep escalating! But you're right. The only way to get it to stop is by being kind to others, trying to find common ground, and working through our differences. I have friends from all political persuasions, so I know it can be done.
I'll agree up to a point. Trying to find common ground can often be an exercise in futility--or a bending over backward when we're the only ones doing the bending. This is a new era and one that promises to be rough for those who are already struggling. I'm on their side always.
I have friends who aren't exactly liberal but I have no friends who are for Donald Trump and his kind. That's my choice.
You're absolutely right that finding that common ground can be tough. I can't even talk about politics with certain people ... sadly, that's an area where I'm not sure we can ever work through our differences.
I think I've given up trying to understand them. They have no interest in understanding me, so there's no hope of any kind of connection. My stance now is to be ever-watchful and to report on the things they're doing to harm those people I'm trying to protect. I want nothing to do with them other than that, and this is on them.
In the past I've bent over backward to try to understand them and all that confusion ever did was give them permission to grow meaner. Once we acknowledge there are people out there who mean to do harm, we can stop trying to figure them out and work instead on stopping them in their tracks.
You bring new meaning to the word "kindness," and a challenge to us all. I do think we are in a fight - in a war for the soul of the country - one that needs to be addressed. We may have already waited too long.
I want to stay positive and believe we haven't waited too long. What would 'too long' look like? Good people are still winning elections, still making change, still operating as if this is a country worth saving. The haters may be louder and more vicious, but they're still not the majority.
Much of what we advocate has to get out there in order to make change. Writers, artists, musicians, politicians, clerics, journalists, opinionists, health care workers, social program workers--anyone who is appalled by what's happening should be out there howling until the tides turn and the dangers we face are weakened, if not eradicated.
Our strength is in our numbers. Working together is our power, but we have to know there are others like us out there. That's where we come in. Our keyboards are our bullhorns. There's something right and righteous about preaching to the choir. (Mixing metaphors is my thing!)
It's true - good people are winning elections. Too long is when the trajectory can't be corrected, that enough people have given up or bought the lie, when redistricting, people in places in power, and changing laws negate the vote of the people. My keyboard is listening.
I've thrown plenty of elbows, even cheap shots, the past 6-plus years out of anger. I've also gotten plenty busy as an activist. We just won a huge election up here in Wisconsin by an uncommonly huge margin. We did this because there were enough people in the middle who were listening to both sides, and made the decision that the Right was wrong. So I'm going to stay busy talking (and listening) with these folks. Good job here, Ramona.
I love what you guys did in Wisconsin. I'm a Yooper so I was watching closely, and you did it! But being a Michigander, I know it didn't happen without a whole lot of effort. We've had our own glorious turnaround in our state and that's where my hope lies--in the people who care enough to get out there and make noise. It takes real teamwork to get at the truth about how important elections are, and how necessary it is to get involved.
Is this a sea change? It could be if enough of us keep talking about the benefits of working toward even an impure democracy. We can't even consider the alternative. The alternative to democracy has no place here.
If you could send some of that energy directly south of you, I know a lot of Hoosiers who would really appreciate it. And watching my sister and parents lament what was happening in Michigan during the last election cycle is what got me to take FB off of my phone. I just couldn't watch their misguided rhetoric anymore.
I wouldn't say Indiana is a lost cause but they don't have much of a blue history, do they? I still remember that Pence, when he was governor, sold off Indiana's toll road system and allowed it to go private. And Indiana went along...
It's actually more "red" than Texas. But there are blue pockets. And the biggest problem is there is no opposition. Our state house seat was unopposed, and I know that we're not the only district where that is the case. But teachers are pissed about current legislation, the LGTBQ community just received a significant blow, and I'm afraid the lax gun laws are going to lead to the kinds of incidents that we've seen all over in the last week. Of course, we currently live in RED Indiana. Our neighbor across the street is still flying a "My dog is smarter than Biden" flag. Which I don't understand, on SO many levels.
I graduated in 97. My graduating class was part of that whole testing cluster with Engler. And that was when I was still far more conservative (because of my parents).
Yes the States, why not start by getting a unique name for your part of our Continent. Kindness, being 'nice' is a strength indeed. But make no mistake it is not for the weak and that is something the US fails to grasp. I grew up with US cousins screaming #1 USA and now they see the truth. Yes United, but things are divided quite seriously there and here too now. Multi Cultural experiment has yet to function as pitched. Multi yes and mono a lot here. But, the culture end not happening and can't when folks cluster in neutral corners, act for themselves and don't talk let alone fight. I wrote about these very topics in previous articles. I agree with every word on offer here, and to evolve revolution is often necessary. Those bad actors can't go forward if their sheep don't give them egress!
I'm assuming you're Canadian? My dad was born in Sault Ste. Marie and I still have relatives there, so I keep in touch with them as we marvel at the strange direction our politics have taken. First ours in the US, and now yours in Canada. The drive toward authoritariansim/fascism is powerful, and many are still blind to the insidious inroads they've made.
Trying to convince them is a never-ending task. It's not for the faint-hearted, it's for the stubbornly patriotic citizens who aren't going to sit back and let it happen.
So thank you for being aware and for working to get the message out there.
Ramona, I wasn't listening in on the Substack Notes conversation, but want to say that I felt energized by this memo and thank you for writing it. I love this country dearly (I am an immigrant so have a very special feeling for the admirable qualities and aspirations of this nation--in particular, the rule of law, and the fact that we are built on the sweat and the energies of a great diversity of people.) I still believe, and agree with you that we must be active in protecting the highest aspirations of this nation, improving access to basic necessities for all, speaking out against injustice. I am open to listening to others with different viewpoints, but not open to tolerating injustice and destructive anger.
I may be damned for commenting because I'm not American and live on the other side of the world. So from the outset, please understand I'm not being unkind.
From an outsider's POV, there does appear to be great community kindness in the USA.
But the media provides us with the shocking and the disgraceful on repeat. It's this that allows the unkind and vicious to thrive - because they're constantly getting airtime, being given oxygen because the media's sole purpose is to generate shock.
Maybe Americans (kind ones) need to blackball their chosen media, maybe they need to fight back with marches, actions. A groundswell of such HUGE proportions that it can't be ignored. But people have to be committed. Sitting writing about it does nothing. You have to care greatly and put actions where the words are.
Because the thing is, at the moment, international opinion of the USA outside of the USA is pretty damning. And that's pretty sad...
Those of us who feel this way have been battling the MSM since 2015, when it was evident Donald Trump was going to pander to the hate crowd in order to get to the presidency, and the press, delighted with their numbers, couldn't stop pandering to Trump.
It's a huge problem in this war against hate, for sure, and thanks for bringing it up.
One reason there isn't more outcry against the press is that we know we need them, as bad as they often are. The truth is, they're all that's between us and a complete takeover.
Even the NYT, as much flak as it gets, often steps up when it gets bad enough. (And there's another problem--it has to get bad enough.) Remember when they devoted an entire two page spread to Trump's lies? That was still early in Trump's presidency, but it made an impact. We're still passing it around.
Calls for banning the legitimate press will only satisfy the right, who would like nothing more. Then every news item would come from their skewed POV because they have the money and they have no shame.
We need national watchdogs and relying on the internet isn't going to do it. All we can do is hold the MSM's feet to the fire, and a lot of important writers work overtime to do just that.
Ramona, I've been cogitating on this essay for hours now, dipping in and out of it in my brain as the obligations of the day(s) demanded. Read anything I write and you find that I lean into kindness. It's my modus operandi. But, there is a world of difference between being kind and being complicit. Too many of us, myself included at times, simply because I run out of ideas for how to effectively respond, are confusing one with the other. Telling the truth and speaking out for those who are undeservedly under fire is not the same as engaging in an online argument with someone whose mind cannot be changed. Conversely, silence is not kindness. I have more thinking to do on this, but I respect and appreciate your call to action!
It's complicated, I know, but anyone who's dealt with bullies knows the thing they like best is when everyone backs off and they're left to do their bullying. That's how I see internet blocking. It's backing off. The bullies see that as weakness, as a win for them. One person walking away does nothing to stop them.
We spend our lives in communities and part of being a citizen of our community is to protect it.
We as a nation let our communities down when we didn't stop Donald Trump from lying and bullying his way into the presidency. The most vulnerable among us were fed to the wolves and the rest of us watched as a stupid, vile man gained followers and gained power, mainly because nobody thought we would ever allow things to go that far. But they did and the aftermath is devastating.
Now we have a chance to keep it from happening again, and we find ourselves wallowing in the same old arguments, as if this isn't a black and white issue: Are we going to accept hate and the haters willing and eager to spread it or are we going to fight against it?
This will probably be an unpopular comment but here it goes. I think the corporate media and social media platforms in general are all-in on the culture war and they know what drives traffic: outrage. And it's amplified everywhere we look. Both 'sides' are being told relentlessly that they are under attack and it just spurs a slavish dedication to tribalism. Yes, people are engaging in really bad behavior AND they should be called out for it. Marginalized groups should be defended, absolutely. But the reality is that multi-billion dollar corporations are using fear and misunderstanding to distract us from all those good things you listed in your post; health care, education, peace. All things that could cost them money.
And this isn't just the Right. MSNBC, CNN, Politico. They hold up Democrats that engage in performative allyship and virtue signaling while marginalizing anyone who challenges the current neo-liberal mindset. All the the issues - of which there are many - that could unite people of vastly different viewpoints are ignored or worse. Yes, there are some bad people saying and promoting very bad things, but please don't forget that we are all being manipulated and the puppet masters like it this way.
We should really demand better from the actual people in power; Big Business, Congress, and whatever presidential administration occupies the White House whenever. When that gets put in order, most of the 'hate' will disappear. Too bad this is all easier said then done.
Scott, your comments are always welcome. I wrote a long answer to your comment here and somehow lost it! Poof! It disappeared! So I'll just say I can agree with much of what you say, but not all of it. I don't think the big guys in government, business, or the press will have any control over the haters, no matter what they do or say.
The haters are entrenched now and they're not going away. All any of us can do is work to weaken their hold. We should never make them acceptable by watering down what they say and do, as if they're doing what everyone else is doing.
That's where the press gets it wrong. They may rail against them, but they also give them platforms, which only serves to give them the impression that their vile, harmful views are important and meaningful. Their followers see it that way, too, and work harder to make hate acceptable or at least not so bad.
The only way to combat them, in my view, is for good people to band together and let it be known that it's not okay, that it'll never be okay, and that we're not going to stop fighting against everything they stand for.
How to go about doing that is another story, but I do know we'll never win by giving them an inch. Because, as we all know, they'll take a mile.
It's discouraging how the hate and fear in this country keep escalating! But you're right. The only way to get it to stop is by being kind to others, trying to find common ground, and working through our differences. I have friends from all political persuasions, so I know it can be done.
I'll agree up to a point. Trying to find common ground can often be an exercise in futility--or a bending over backward when we're the only ones doing the bending. This is a new era and one that promises to be rough for those who are already struggling. I'm on their side always.
I have friends who aren't exactly liberal but I have no friends who are for Donald Trump and his kind. That's my choice.
You're absolutely right that finding that common ground can be tough. I can't even talk about politics with certain people ... sadly, that's an area where I'm not sure we can ever work through our differences.
Noble thought, Wendy. I think Ramona is going down a different road.
Appeasement is wishful thinking; it has a long and inglorious history.
Decidedly. Yet there are always those who expect it or demand it--most often for their own selfish reasons.
There's a lot of willful ignorance in the world. I've tried to understand, but remain baffled.
I think I've given up trying to understand them. They have no interest in understanding me, so there's no hope of any kind of connection. My stance now is to be ever-watchful and to report on the things they're doing to harm those people I'm trying to protect. I want nothing to do with them other than that, and this is on them.
In the past I've bent over backward to try to understand them and all that confusion ever did was give them permission to grow meaner. Once we acknowledge there are people out there who mean to do harm, we can stop trying to figure them out and work instead on stopping them in their tracks.
I'm glad Substack has added a block Notes function, so readers can control the nature of the content that they see on the Home tab.
You bring new meaning to the word "kindness," and a challenge to us all. I do think we are in a fight - in a war for the soul of the country - one that needs to be addressed. We may have already waited too long.
I want to stay positive and believe we haven't waited too long. What would 'too long' look like? Good people are still winning elections, still making change, still operating as if this is a country worth saving. The haters may be louder and more vicious, but they're still not the majority.
Much of what we advocate has to get out there in order to make change. Writers, artists, musicians, politicians, clerics, journalists, opinionists, health care workers, social program workers--anyone who is appalled by what's happening should be out there howling until the tides turn and the dangers we face are weakened, if not eradicated.
Our strength is in our numbers. Working together is our power, but we have to know there are others like us out there. That's where we come in. Our keyboards are our bullhorns. There's something right and righteous about preaching to the choir. (Mixing metaphors is my thing!)
It's true - good people are winning elections. Too long is when the trajectory can't be corrected, that enough people have given up or bought the lie, when redistricting, people in places in power, and changing laws negate the vote of the people. My keyboard is listening.
I've thrown plenty of elbows, even cheap shots, the past 6-plus years out of anger. I've also gotten plenty busy as an activist. We just won a huge election up here in Wisconsin by an uncommonly huge margin. We did this because there were enough people in the middle who were listening to both sides, and made the decision that the Right was wrong. So I'm going to stay busy talking (and listening) with these folks. Good job here, Ramona.
I love what you guys did in Wisconsin. I'm a Yooper so I was watching closely, and you did it! But being a Michigander, I know it didn't happen without a whole lot of effort. We've had our own glorious turnaround in our state and that's where my hope lies--in the people who care enough to get out there and make noise. It takes real teamwork to get at the truth about how important elections are, and how necessary it is to get involved.
Is this a sea change? It could be if enough of us keep talking about the benefits of working toward even an impure democracy. We can't even consider the alternative. The alternative to democracy has no place here.
The Blue Wall has been rebuilt and it is beautiful and terrific!
(And, yes, we need to stay at it.)
If you could send some of that energy directly south of you, I know a lot of Hoosiers who would really appreciate it. And watching my sister and parents lament what was happening in Michigan during the last election cycle is what got me to take FB off of my phone. I just couldn't watch their misguided rhetoric anymore.
I wouldn't say Indiana is a lost cause but they don't have much of a blue history, do they? I still remember that Pence, when he was governor, sold off Indiana's toll road system and allowed it to go private. And Indiana went along...
It's actually more "red" than Texas. But there are blue pockets. And the biggest problem is there is no opposition. Our state house seat was unopposed, and I know that we're not the only district where that is the case. But teachers are pissed about current legislation, the LGTBQ community just received a significant blow, and I'm afraid the lax gun laws are going to lead to the kinds of incidents that we've seen all over in the last week. Of course, we currently live in RED Indiana. Our neighbor across the street is still flying a "My dog is smarter than Biden" flag. Which I don't understand, on SO many levels.
I don't know if you remember how red Michigan became, and now we lean more blue than purple. It can happen!
I graduated in 97. My graduating class was part of that whole testing cluster with Engler. And that was when I was still far more conservative (because of my parents).
Yes the States, why not start by getting a unique name for your part of our Continent. Kindness, being 'nice' is a strength indeed. But make no mistake it is not for the weak and that is something the US fails to grasp. I grew up with US cousins screaming #1 USA and now they see the truth. Yes United, but things are divided quite seriously there and here too now. Multi Cultural experiment has yet to function as pitched. Multi yes and mono a lot here. But, the culture end not happening and can't when folks cluster in neutral corners, act for themselves and don't talk let alone fight. I wrote about these very topics in previous articles. I agree with every word on offer here, and to evolve revolution is often necessary. Those bad actors can't go forward if their sheep don't give them egress!
I'm assuming you're Canadian? My dad was born in Sault Ste. Marie and I still have relatives there, so I keep in touch with them as we marvel at the strange direction our politics have taken. First ours in the US, and now yours in Canada. The drive toward authoritariansim/fascism is powerful, and many are still blind to the insidious inroads they've made.
Trying to convince them is a never-ending task. It's not for the faint-hearted, it's for the stubbornly patriotic citizens who aren't going to sit back and let it happen.
So thank you for being aware and for working to get the message out there.
Glad to be of service ☺️ Sault Ste. Marie yes great name that! I don't think I 've been there yet
I’m glad you shared it here!
Ramona, I wasn't listening in on the Substack Notes conversation, but want to say that I felt energized by this memo and thank you for writing it. I love this country dearly (I am an immigrant so have a very special feeling for the admirable qualities and aspirations of this nation--in particular, the rule of law, and the fact that we are built on the sweat and the energies of a great diversity of people.) I still believe, and agree with you that we must be active in protecting the highest aspirations of this nation, improving access to basic necessities for all, speaking out against injustice. I am open to listening to others with different viewpoints, but not open to tolerating injustice and destructive anger.
I may be damned for commenting because I'm not American and live on the other side of the world. So from the outset, please understand I'm not being unkind.
From an outsider's POV, there does appear to be great community kindness in the USA.
But the media provides us with the shocking and the disgraceful on repeat. It's this that allows the unkind and vicious to thrive - because they're constantly getting airtime, being given oxygen because the media's sole purpose is to generate shock.
Maybe Americans (kind ones) need to blackball their chosen media, maybe they need to fight back with marches, actions. A groundswell of such HUGE proportions that it can't be ignored. But people have to be committed. Sitting writing about it does nothing. You have to care greatly and put actions where the words are.
Because the thing is, at the moment, international opinion of the USA outside of the USA is pretty damning. And that's pretty sad...
Those of us who feel this way have been battling the MSM since 2015, when it was evident Donald Trump was going to pander to the hate crowd in order to get to the presidency, and the press, delighted with their numbers, couldn't stop pandering to Trump.
It's a huge problem in this war against hate, for sure, and thanks for bringing it up.
One reason there isn't more outcry against the press is that we know we need them, as bad as they often are. The truth is, they're all that's between us and a complete takeover.
Even the NYT, as much flak as it gets, often steps up when it gets bad enough. (And there's another problem--it has to get bad enough.) Remember when they devoted an entire two page spread to Trump's lies? That was still early in Trump's presidency, but it made an impact. We're still passing it around.
Calls for banning the legitimate press will only satisfy the right, who would like nothing more. Then every news item would come from their skewed POV because they have the money and they have no shame.
We need national watchdogs and relying on the internet isn't going to do it. All we can do is hold the MSM's feet to the fire, and a lot of important writers work overtime to do just that.
Ramona, I've been cogitating on this essay for hours now, dipping in and out of it in my brain as the obligations of the day(s) demanded. Read anything I write and you find that I lean into kindness. It's my modus operandi. But, there is a world of difference between being kind and being complicit. Too many of us, myself included at times, simply because I run out of ideas for how to effectively respond, are confusing one with the other. Telling the truth and speaking out for those who are undeservedly under fire is not the same as engaging in an online argument with someone whose mind cannot be changed. Conversely, silence is not kindness. I have more thinking to do on this, but I respect and appreciate your call to action!
It's complicated, I know, but anyone who's dealt with bullies knows the thing they like best is when everyone backs off and they're left to do their bullying. That's how I see internet blocking. It's backing off. The bullies see that as weakness, as a win for them. One person walking away does nothing to stop them.
We spend our lives in communities and part of being a citizen of our community is to protect it.
We as a nation let our communities down when we didn't stop Donald Trump from lying and bullying his way into the presidency. The most vulnerable among us were fed to the wolves and the rest of us watched as a stupid, vile man gained followers and gained power, mainly because nobody thought we would ever allow things to go that far. But they did and the aftermath is devastating.
Now we have a chance to keep it from happening again, and we find ourselves wallowing in the same old arguments, as if this isn't a black and white issue: Are we going to accept hate and the haters willing and eager to spread it or are we going to fight against it?
This will probably be an unpopular comment but here it goes. I think the corporate media and social media platforms in general are all-in on the culture war and they know what drives traffic: outrage. And it's amplified everywhere we look. Both 'sides' are being told relentlessly that they are under attack and it just spurs a slavish dedication to tribalism. Yes, people are engaging in really bad behavior AND they should be called out for it. Marginalized groups should be defended, absolutely. But the reality is that multi-billion dollar corporations are using fear and misunderstanding to distract us from all those good things you listed in your post; health care, education, peace. All things that could cost them money.
And this isn't just the Right. MSNBC, CNN, Politico. They hold up Democrats that engage in performative allyship and virtue signaling while marginalizing anyone who challenges the current neo-liberal mindset. All the the issues - of which there are many - that could unite people of vastly different viewpoints are ignored or worse. Yes, there are some bad people saying and promoting very bad things, but please don't forget that we are all being manipulated and the puppet masters like it this way.
We should really demand better from the actual people in power; Big Business, Congress, and whatever presidential administration occupies the White House whenever. When that gets put in order, most of the 'hate' will disappear. Too bad this is all easier said then done.
Thanks, I appreciate you allowing us to comment.
Scott, your comments are always welcome. I wrote a long answer to your comment here and somehow lost it! Poof! It disappeared! So I'll just say I can agree with much of what you say, but not all of it. I don't think the big guys in government, business, or the press will have any control over the haters, no matter what they do or say.
The haters are entrenched now and they're not going away. All any of us can do is work to weaken their hold. We should never make them acceptable by watering down what they say and do, as if they're doing what everyone else is doing.
That's where the press gets it wrong. They may rail against them, but they also give them platforms, which only serves to give them the impression that their vile, harmful views are important and meaningful. Their followers see it that way, too, and work harder to make hate acceptable or at least not so bad.
The only way to combat them, in my view, is for good people to band together and let it be known that it's not okay, that it'll never be okay, and that we're not going to stop fighting against everything they stand for.
How to go about doing that is another story, but I do know we'll never win by giving them an inch. Because, as we all know, they'll take a mile.