I tried watching Succession but it made me squirm & I can watch Ozark & many other shows with language, violence & sexual content. I just couldn’t get past watching the young men in it.
I can't begin to tell you why I stuck with it. The main characters threatened to make me physically sick at first--especially Roman. All I can come up with is the writing. It became too compelling to leave behind.
Though I never use the word either, I've watched a lot of shows that overuse it and have no problem with it there. Strange how that works, and I'm glad I'm not the only one experiencing this dichotomy!
Yes, it's probably more common than I think. I've always been supersensitive to that word. My husband the Marine no doubt used it, but if he did I never heard it. I must have sent off some strong signals!
In the Navy, the use of “f*ck” was ubiquitous. To the point that it was used about as often as “y’know”... and had about the same emotional content.
Herman Wouk addressed this in his book “The Caine Mutiny.” Something along the lines of, “People have told me that sailors in my book don’t talk like real sailors. Thanks, I served for years on destroyers, I know. But if I wrote like they talked, the average reader would be shocked and lose track of what was going on — so I toned it down.” At one point there’s a passage something like, “The chief let out a string of profanity so sharp and vulgar that it could peel the paint off a bulkhead, the sum total of which conveyed: my, this is highly unusual!” Yup!
Roy would have been considered soft spoken in the Navy. 😁
When I got out of the Navy, I knew I needed to clean up my language. Fortunately (I thought) my high school years with a high percentage Jewish population meant I had picked up some Yiddish — most of it (consider the source) profanity. So I trained myself to swear in Yiddish. 😁
Because the universe has a warped sense of humor, my first civilian boss was Israeli, a nice older gentleman, and yes, he understood Yiddish swear words… 😳 <sigh>
But the F-word isn't just an overused cliche. It's coarsening and cheapening THOUGHT. Whenever you hear it, ask yourself, "Did the character have an idea, a thought, at the precise moment when he chose that word?" No. He's only trying to beef up the probably feeble thought that comes AFTER the F-word. It's a product of chronic lazy screenwriting.
And I'm not sure it's even written that much anymore. I don't think it has to be. I think on set the actor reads the line and the director instructs: "No, don't say you're 'Fed up'. Say, you're 'F-ing fed up'".
It's a profound aesthetic error that's infested Hollywood for 30 years or so, not just in word choices but in effects of all kinds -- writers, directors and actors habitually mistake blatancy for power. They increasingly can't tell the difference.
In the case of Ted Lasso's Roy Kent it most definitely was not a case of lazy screenwriting. It was a good choice for portraying that chronically inarticulate character. Roy Kent struggled with words throughout almost the entire show. There were times when he tried to come up with something other than the 'F' word and his failed efforts were hilarious.
In 'Succcession', again--not lazy screenwriting. The overuse of the word signified something else--the characters' lack of imagination, of creativity, and the feeble need to act tough. I could almost feel sorry for them when all they could do was sputter that word. It showed weakness, not strength.
You and I agree on so much, however, this is one area where we diverge. I find the F word is applicable to many things. It’s useful as an adjective, noun, etc. The moral of the story is be yourself and be comfortable with it. Diversity makes the world go round. 😊
LOL. You are the majority and I'm the minority. I suspect some of it has to do with my age. Coming of age in the 1950s meant this was not a word we heard often, and almost never from women. Old habits die hard!
My father said no cursing allowed in the house. Being the rebel I am that was all I needed to hear. I have a potty mouth and proud of it LOL. Although I do read a room. I temper my cursing as necessary. Maybe I am not the rebel I think I am. Hmmmm...lol
I’m not an f-bomber. But after working for a year and a half in the newsroom on campus, I let my first one drop. It was such an event, my assistant city editor gasped and went back in and told the room of reporters: “You guys, you made Amanda say f*ck! You better get it together!” 😂
I think the thing you’re tapping into is that there are cultures where the f-word is woven into the vernacular with quite a bit of nuance. Restaurant kitchens, newsrooms, even overseas when I visited the UK, the whole family smattered it everywhere, even the prim and proper mum. No one batted an eye. So watching shows like Ted Lasso, it’s such a full immersion into another world that it is nearly impossible to not just go along for the ride.
I specifically appreciated your note about imagining a Roy Kent who doesn’t swear—they didn’t even shy away from it! The f-word here was a crutch for not knowing how to say his real feelings! Such a good catch.
All that to say, thanks for the f*cking good chat. ;-)
This may be slightly long Ramona but I found it funny that I had actually written about this some months ago after reading "Unarmoured". I resonated with her story in so many ways but also found myself asking why the excessive use of the *F* Bomb? At the time I considered writing a blog and then opted out.
However, because I resonated with what you wrote, plus the fact that I'm from your era, I felt compelled to add a comment - or two...LOL. I don't think I even heard it until I was in my teens and boy oh boy, it was impactful and not in a good way!
In our world today the overuse is leaving me with a sense of sadness, particularly as it has become so mainstream for our young teens. Is this truly the way to make some kind of impression and be accepted by peers? I've sincerely tried to just be an "observer" by stepping back and considering why it causes such should discord/angst/revolt in me?
All I've been able to discern (for myself) is that it doesn't express any type of spirituality, kindness, compassion, or love and I haven't been able to see how it may be serving the "greater good" of our species.
So, my practice of pausing, taking a few deep breaths and asking myself "how important will it be in five years" then of course returns a response from my soul voice... "you silly one - you won't even remember it at all".
I was listening to Lee Harris and Part one of the "Almost 30" exchange some months back and have to say I was so delighted to be able to reflect that not one of the participants found it necessary to use the *F* Bomb - not even once throughout the entire Q&A. So that gave me hope.
I guess my age is showing and so be it. I really don't want my grandchildren and great-grandchildren to be left with the legacy of a G'ma/Gigi who had a "foul mouth".
Yeah, I'll never feel compelled to use it, and I'll probably never stop flinching where I hear it in person, but as a script choice it's here to stay. I get that now!
SOooo glad you linked this piece in today's WE update, Mona. My husband and I opt out of cable TV, and we recently canned Netflix because the price went up as our use went down. Couldn't justify it. All that to say, I've heard such amazing responses to these series but never had a way to watch. Your endorsement makes me want to try harder.
And, I've also learned that the occasional f-bombs in my essays might have caused you to clutch pearls. I can't say I'll stop dropping them in (sailor/farmer that I am) but you can bet I'll think of you when I do! 😅
I tried watching Succession but it made me squirm & I can watch Ozark & many other shows with language, violence & sexual content. I just couldn’t get past watching the young men in it.
I can't begin to tell you why I stuck with it. The main characters threatened to make me physically sick at first--especially Roman. All I can come up with is the writing. It became too compelling to leave behind.
Though I never use the word either, I've watched a lot of shows that overuse it and have no problem with it there. Strange how that works, and I'm glad I'm not the only one experiencing this dichotomy!
Yes, it's probably more common than I think. I've always been supersensitive to that word. My husband the Marine no doubt used it, but if he did I never heard it. I must have sent off some strong signals!
In the Navy, the use of “f*ck” was ubiquitous. To the point that it was used about as often as “y’know”... and had about the same emotional content.
Herman Wouk addressed this in his book “The Caine Mutiny.” Something along the lines of, “People have told me that sailors in my book don’t talk like real sailors. Thanks, I served for years on destroyers, I know. But if I wrote like they talked, the average reader would be shocked and lose track of what was going on — so I toned it down.” At one point there’s a passage something like, “The chief let out a string of profanity so sharp and vulgar that it could peel the paint off a bulkhead, the sum total of which conveyed: my, this is highly unusual!” Yup!
Roy would have been considered soft spoken in the Navy. 😁
LOL. I've lived a sheltered life. What can I say? 😆
No worries, Ramona! 😁
When I got out of the Navy, I knew I needed to clean up my language. Fortunately (I thought) my high school years with a high percentage Jewish population meant I had picked up some Yiddish — most of it (consider the source) profanity. So I trained myself to swear in Yiddish. 😁
Because the universe has a warped sense of humor, my first civilian boss was Israeli, a nice older gentleman, and yes, he understood Yiddish swear words… 😳 <sigh>
Ha ha. Great story!
But the F-word isn't just an overused cliche. It's coarsening and cheapening THOUGHT. Whenever you hear it, ask yourself, "Did the character have an idea, a thought, at the precise moment when he chose that word?" No. He's only trying to beef up the probably feeble thought that comes AFTER the F-word. It's a product of chronic lazy screenwriting.
And I'm not sure it's even written that much anymore. I don't think it has to be. I think on set the actor reads the line and the director instructs: "No, don't say you're 'Fed up'. Say, you're 'F-ing fed up'".
It's a profound aesthetic error that's infested Hollywood for 30 years or so, not just in word choices but in effects of all kinds -- writers, directors and actors habitually mistake blatancy for power. They increasingly can't tell the difference.
In the case of Ted Lasso's Roy Kent it most definitely was not a case of lazy screenwriting. It was a good choice for portraying that chronically inarticulate character. Roy Kent struggled with words throughout almost the entire show. There were times when he tried to come up with something other than the 'F' word and his failed efforts were hilarious.
In 'Succcession', again--not lazy screenwriting. The overuse of the word signified something else--the characters' lack of imagination, of creativity, and the feeble need to act tough. I could almost feel sorry for them when all they could do was sputter that word. It showed weakness, not strength.
Great insight 👍🏻
You and I agree on so much, however, this is one area where we diverge. I find the F word is applicable to many things. It’s useful as an adjective, noun, etc. The moral of the story is be yourself and be comfortable with it. Diversity makes the world go round. 😊
LOL. You are the majority and I'm the minority. I suspect some of it has to do with my age. Coming of age in the 1950s meant this was not a word we heard often, and almost never from women. Old habits die hard!
My father said no cursing allowed in the house. Being the rebel I am that was all I needed to hear. I have a potty mouth and proud of it LOL. Although I do read a room. I temper my cursing as necessary. Maybe I am not the rebel I think I am. Hmmmm...lol
Smart rebel! The very best kind! 👍
Awww thank you ❤️😘
You too.
I’m not an f-bomber. But after working for a year and a half in the newsroom on campus, I let my first one drop. It was such an event, my assistant city editor gasped and went back in and told the room of reporters: “You guys, you made Amanda say f*ck! You better get it together!” 😂
I think the thing you’re tapping into is that there are cultures where the f-word is woven into the vernacular with quite a bit of nuance. Restaurant kitchens, newsrooms, even overseas when I visited the UK, the whole family smattered it everywhere, even the prim and proper mum. No one batted an eye. So watching shows like Ted Lasso, it’s such a full immersion into another world that it is nearly impossible to not just go along for the ride.
I specifically appreciated your note about imagining a Roy Kent who doesn’t swear—they didn’t even shy away from it! The f-word here was a crutch for not knowing how to say his real feelings! Such a good catch.
All that to say, thanks for the f*cking good chat. ;-)
Missed this the first time around. Sorry! Loved your comment here. Thanks!
This may be slightly long Ramona but I found it funny that I had actually written about this some months ago after reading "Unarmoured". I resonated with her story in so many ways but also found myself asking why the excessive use of the *F* Bomb? At the time I considered writing a blog and then opted out.
However, because I resonated with what you wrote, plus the fact that I'm from your era, I felt compelled to add a comment - or two...LOL. I don't think I even heard it until I was in my teens and boy oh boy, it was impactful and not in a good way!
In our world today the overuse is leaving me with a sense of sadness, particularly as it has become so mainstream for our young teens. Is this truly the way to make some kind of impression and be accepted by peers? I've sincerely tried to just be an "observer" by stepping back and considering why it causes such should discord/angst/revolt in me?
All I've been able to discern (for myself) is that it doesn't express any type of spirituality, kindness, compassion, or love and I haven't been able to see how it may be serving the "greater good" of our species.
So, my practice of pausing, taking a few deep breaths and asking myself "how important will it be in five years" then of course returns a response from my soul voice... "you silly one - you won't even remember it at all".
I was listening to Lee Harris and Part one of the "Almost 30" exchange some months back and have to say I was so delighted to be able to reflect that not one of the participants found it necessary to use the *F* Bomb - not even once throughout the entire Q&A. So that gave me hope.
I guess my age is showing and so be it. I really don't want my grandchildren and great-grandchildren to be left with the legacy of a G'ma/Gigi who had a "foul mouth".
Yeah, I'll never feel compelled to use it, and I'll probably never stop flinching where I hear it in person, but as a script choice it's here to stay. I get that now!
SOooo glad you linked this piece in today's WE update, Mona. My husband and I opt out of cable TV, and we recently canned Netflix because the price went up as our use went down. Couldn't justify it. All that to say, I've heard such amazing responses to these series but never had a way to watch. Your endorsement makes me want to try harder.
And, I've also learned that the occasional f-bombs in my essays might have caused you to clutch pearls. I can't say I'll stop dropping them in (sailor/farmer that I am) but you can bet I'll think of you when I do! 😅
Oh, don't mind me, Elizabeth. Bomb away! I'm so far in the minority I'm almost embarrassed to tell people where I stand on this. Almost...
🔥