When Holly Starley , van vagabond and writer extraordinaire, invited me to engage in an online conversation about our similar yet totally different lives as winter women hunkering down alone in our cabins in the woods, I jumped at the chance. What you see below is all Holly. This is her baby. She came up with the questions and the concept and she did all the grunt work. I just went along for the ride—and what a ride it was!
Wonderful idea-pairing you two. I loved reading your musings! I’ve struggled with changing names. It feels not “genuine”. But I do understand about the integrity: mine and the one about whom I am writing.
Also, I think I would need to keep a list of name changes!
Two women on their own, writing in cabins is a gorgeous jumping off point for a conversation. On the question of how to handle other people in personal writing, I've steered away from personal writing for exactly this reason. I dabbled with a couple of parent/kid/humor essays, and enjoyed it, but I don't want to tell my kids' story on the internet before they are old enough to tell their own. It feels like a genre of writing I need to enter only occasionally, briefly, sparingly.
This is so lovely and I'm glad you both did this! As for names, I struggle with this. My current memoir WIP has just a few characters besides my husband and kids, and so I've asked for permission to use names, especially for one who was a minor at the time the even happened. My own kids weren't keen on their names being in the book, but I had to tell them that the story telling didn't work without their actual names. (My daughter was most resistant and she's the one who wants to be a writer 😂) I'm really going to have to revisit this when I finally write the book about spiritual trauma, however, because that is much deeper and personal. But that's a few years away.
What a fascinating conversation. I loved having the chance to be a part of it. I write personal stories, but mostly about my experience as a caregiver, becoming a widow, and beginning a life on my own after 63 years of marriage. My hope, my goal, is that others can learn something from my mistakes and be better prepared than I was for these life changing events.
Love these questions and both of your answers! When I started blogging years ago, I didn’t use my real name at first, and never named my son (except in a few published pieces where editors insisted). As things went along, I wanted to own my stories fully - but I still don’t use my son’s name, although I know it would only take a quick click for someone to find it. I always thought I would change that at some point but I haven’t yet. And although I write a lot about my life as his caregiver, there are lots of things I keep private. It is a constant question, how to write about my life in way that is careful and respectful to my son, who cannot tell his own story and whose life is so intertwined with mine.
Wonderful idea-pairing you two. I loved reading your musings! I’ve struggled with changing names. It feels not “genuine”. But I do understand about the integrity: mine and the one about whom I am writing.
Also, I think I would need to keep a list of name changes!
Two women on their own, writing in cabins is a gorgeous jumping off point for a conversation. On the question of how to handle other people in personal writing, I've steered away from personal writing for exactly this reason. I dabbled with a couple of parent/kid/humor essays, and enjoyed it, but I don't want to tell my kids' story on the internet before they are old enough to tell their own. It feels like a genre of writing I need to enter only occasionally, briefly, sparingly.
This is so lovely and I'm glad you both did this! As for names, I struggle with this. My current memoir WIP has just a few characters besides my husband and kids, and so I've asked for permission to use names, especially for one who was a minor at the time the even happened. My own kids weren't keen on their names being in the book, but I had to tell them that the story telling didn't work without their actual names. (My daughter was most resistant and she's the one who wants to be a writer 😂) I'm really going to have to revisit this when I finally write the book about spiritual trauma, however, because that is much deeper and personal. But that's a few years away.
Love you ladies ♥️
What a fascinating conversation. I loved having the chance to be a part of it. I write personal stories, but mostly about my experience as a caregiver, becoming a widow, and beginning a life on my own after 63 years of marriage. My hope, my goal, is that others can learn something from my mistakes and be better prepared than I was for these life changing events.
Love these questions and both of your answers! When I started blogging years ago, I didn’t use my real name at first, and never named my son (except in a few published pieces where editors insisted). As things went along, I wanted to own my stories fully - but I still don’t use my son’s name, although I know it would only take a quick click for someone to find it. I always thought I would change that at some point but I haven’t yet. And although I write a lot about my life as his caregiver, there are lots of things I keep private. It is a constant question, how to write about my life in way that is careful and respectful to my son, who cannot tell his own story and whose life is so intertwined with mine.