I Don't Feel Like Writing Today
It happens.
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I don’t feel like writing today.
I’m not feeling it.
Nope. Not there.
I’m taking the day off and — you may not believe this — I don’t feel a thing. No fear, no regrets, no anger, no repercussions. I’m just doing it.
Every writer knows the drill when they don’t feel like writing. They sit down anyway. They write anyway. And with enough time the words are supposed to flow — like turning on a faucet — until OMG, genius. Pure genius.
Seriously. And none of it would have happened without sitting that butt down on that seat, shutting out the world, and persevering.
It happens. It has happened to me. (Maybe not the genius part.) But it’s not happening today. That’s the beauty — or the trouble — with writing without deadlines. There’s no actual rush. Nobody is calling or emailing me wanting to know when I’m going to finish the damn thing.
But that doesn’t mean I’ve never been right there with the rest, flogging myself whenever some self-imposed deadline passes and I’ve got nothing. I push myself, struggling for every word, threatening to cut that word “writer” right out of my vocabulary.
Writer’s block is a thing and it stings. I don’t trust anyone who says it doesn’t exist. Of course it does. Unless your whole shtick is stream-of-consciousness, you’re going to struggle sometimes to get it right, and sometimes, just when you need it most, your creative brain will decide to take a break and go off and sit a spell.
Then it’s, like, Writer? You thought you were a writer? Ha! So does every other hack with a device that spews out words faster than a speeding ballpoint.
Fool.
But not today. Today I’m that writer who doesn’t feel like writing.
Maybe I’ll go on Twitter. Or on Facebook. Hang with my writer friends. Maybe they’ll be sad because nothing’s working for them and they’ll be thinking what idiots they are for taking up this silly trade.
I’ll tell them to take the damn day off. Forget about it.
I’ll laugh at their anxiety.
I’ll whistle a happy tune.
I’ll toddle off to someplace else and leave them to their misery.
I’m in that kind of mood.
So. . . if you're taking the day off, who wrote this essay? This is a very "meta" post!!
I think there's a difference between writing for ourselves, and writing something you want to share with others. My readers have been kind to my 5 month old substack baby. Each Monday they read, like, comment faithfully. We have become friends, of a sort. And, even though I could take a 'vacation', I feel I owe it to them to share a weekly 'something' on kindness. Yes, there are times when I'm not feeling inspired, not thinking I can give them something worthwhile. But I keep publishing, once a week, as promised. Sometimes I learn that the things I think are the least worthwhile, are the ones they love the most. If I give myself permission to 'not write' this week, what's to keep that little habit from growing?