How to Overcome Writer's Desperation
Beating yourself up won't make the words come faster.
We talk a lot about writer’s block, but we don’t talk enough about writer’s desperation. Both are real and both get in the way when we have work to do. But if I had my choice (and I hope I never do), I’d rather be blocked than desperate.
Writer’s block keeps us from writing, which, in the end, may be a good thing. It probably means we’re not ready. Writer’s desperation makes us write, even when we have nothing to say.
If you’ve ever been tempted to just throw something out there, to tell yourself it’s good enough, to hit that “Publish” button NOW (because if you don’t, and another day goes by, you’ll have no right to call yourself a writer), remember what you produced when you did that.
I know you remember.
So let’s start by analyzing that word “writer”.
The MacMillan Dictionary says a writer is:
There it is. Pretty straightforward. No magic. Now raise your hand if you’ve heard this before:
“I was afraid to call myself a writer.”
Wave if you’ve said it yourself.
I know. Me, too.
The reason you’re afraid is because you see the title — Writer — as your affirmation, when it’s the seat-of-the-pants writing that makes you a writer.
Writing to publish is far different from writing to write, but because the internet makes it so damned easy now, too many writers think they can bypass their apprenticeship and just start by publishing. Their writing shows it. They’re not ready and it’ll come back some day to haunt them.
If you’re still reading this, you’re not them. You’re filled with angst, and you don’t know what to do about it. It’s you I care about. So hear me out:
First things first. Get comfortable with your writing. Think of writing as conversation. When you open your mouth to speak you’ve done it so often you barely have to think about how to structure your sentences. You’ve mastered the ability to use just the right words to say what you’re thinking. With enough practice, you’ll do that same thing with your writing.
Once you’re comfortable with the writing process, give yourself time to do it the way you want it done. Creative writing doesn’t come naturally. You might think it should, but it doesn’t. It comes from a different segment of your brain and your brain has to be trained to respond.
Don’t beat yourself up if your initial attempts at writing don’t live up to your dreams. Beat yourself up, instead, for expecting too much too soon.
Be realistic about what you’ve set out to do. Writing class assignments or notes to friends or diary entries can’t compare to writing to create an entire new experience designed to draw in complete strangers who don’t know you well enough to indulge you.
If you’re feeling intimidated by the prospect of writing for readers who may be judging you, join the club. That never goes away. Some of them will judge you and find you wanting. They won’t like what you write. It’s not the end of the world. Some people don’t like what you have to say, either. It doesn’t mean you’ll stop talking, or even measure your words more carefully. You are you.
You’ve come to wanting to publish your writing because you see yourself as distinct and interesting, and you have something to say. Now here’s your chance. Just make sure you really have something to offer.
That’s the hard part.
If you choose writing as a career, respect your career choice enough to work at it. Writing well doesn’t come easy. It’s a journey of many paths. You’ll need to admire and respect good writing before you can become a part of that venerable club.
Reading and analyzing other works is your apprenticeship. Read the bad as well as the good. In time, the difference will not only jump out at you, it’ll eat at you. You’ll want to grab a pen and edit the hell out of every mess you run across.
When you can recognize bad writing, congratulations! You’ve jumped to the head of the class. When you train yourself to see it, you’ll never again be tempted to do it.
Don’t waste writing space bragging about how great you are. When I read a story where the writer is crowing on and on about their not-always-obvious talent, I know they’ve stopped growing. And I stop reading. They’re not writing, they’re indulging.
Stagnated writers are easy to spot, too. They’ve stopped taking chances. They write the same things over and over, manipulating the words to make it look like it’s different, but it’s a rut they’re in and they’ve grown comfortable there. It’s fine for them. They’re happy in their place.
True creatives, on the other hand, are never satisfied. They never stop pushing their own boundaries. That’s something you need to know going in. At every stage you’ll look back at the last and cringe. That’s healthy. It means you’re thinking professionally and not just playing at it. It means you were brave enough to move on.
If desperation strikes — and it will — recognize it for what it is: the need to create. Think as an artist, not as an assembly line worker. Calm down and nurture your abilities. Write until you get the words right. Don’t hurry.
Writing is a calling, not just a job. No one else can do what you just did. Every word came from you. Set your fears aside and revel in the process. It’s the process that makes you the writer you are. The finished product is the gift.
Let’s talk. What do you think?
I'm very new to writing, so I don't know that I've experienced desperation, but I have experienced writer's block. I enjoy reading your newsletters. Thank you.